Does Prayer Really Work?
I haven't been able to update this blog for a couple of weeks and I thought I owed you all some explanation. Some of my blogging friends know by now that my dad has been in ICU for the last couple of weeks. At times, his health seems to be improving but at other times we get terrified.
This is how it all started. One day out of the blue he started having severe headache that wouldn't go away for a few days. He's never had headaches all his life so that was alarming but he is of the type who never asks anyone for any help. He wouldn't let our mom tell any of us siblings saying he didn't want to bother any of us. But then one day, he had a vomit and was taken to emergency. You would think the doctors would have done the cat-scan of the head right away but they took two full days to review his symptoms – which included lower back pain, intense weakness and pain in the thighs. They kept thinking it was some kind of weird virus. But when the cat-scan was done, it was discovered that he had bled at multiple spots in the brain. The bleeding had stopped but then other complications started happening – lung infection which according to the doctors, was picked up in the hospital itself.
My dad has always been very self sufficient, always going out of his way to help just about everyone and asking for help for himself is the last thing in his dictionary. Not always a positive I know. So this morning, he talked to my mom on the phone that he was feeling a lot better and should be home by the weekend. Only around noon we found out that he had tried to get out of the bed to go to the washroom but as soon as he got up, he fell because of weakness and passed out. We don't know when the nurses got to him but he did get bruised and started bleeding on the forehead – externally.
Thank God, he didn't have any internal bleeding. But he is extremely weak and is hardly talking. He said a few words to me this evening and they were "don't worry about me my child, I will be fine, take care of yourself". Apparently he knows I have been sick with high fever from the stress. And hearing these words, I couldn't stop crying. That's my dad. Always bringing attention away from himself, always thinking about others.
All these days I've been helplessly praying that he gets better. And at times while praying, I've found myself making deals and promises with the supreme being, in exchange for making my dad better.
As I write this, my childhood images float in front of my eyes. Our parents try to provide us with everything that is within their power. They will themselves go through difficulties but not let their children suffer. So why does God make us see them suffer so much?
Sometimes parents will use, loving though weird, names to refer to their children. My dad calls me his little tigress. It's his way of giving me strength and tell me I can achieve just about anything in life. But today, with him lying helplessly in the hospital, struggling for his life, I feel completely shattered and lonely.
A lot of questions go through my head these days.
Why are we all running after making money?
What is it that I should make my priority to do, while I am able bodied?
What is it that makes us walk, talk and smile? makes us feel pain and happiness?
I was chatting with a friend a few days ago, whose family went through some similarly tough situation. I asked him, does a person create a journey or the journey molds a person? We both didn't know the answer to this. Do you?
Today I request you all to keep my dad in your prayers. I can't continue as I cannot see the words on the screen anymore.
Pearl,
I’ll be praying for your father. Yes, I do believe that prayers work, but God’s ways are not always our ways. Things happen for a reason and we don’t always see that reason or understand what it is. I think it is good that you are asking yourself these questions. One of the most influential people in my life was my high school basketball coach. My senior year I broke my wrist and missed the season. Not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but at the time it was a big deal to me. My coach told me a story about himself that helped to put things in perspective. When he was 18 he was about to enter the military. He had an accident and broke his neck. He was able to recover but never was able to go into the military. A few years later, when he would have been in some other part of the world, he met his wife. After that he was thankful for how his life had unfolded. You never know what’s in store for the future. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. I have a friend who’s mother was just shot today by a stray bullet. All we can do is live our lives for a purpose and be prepared for whatever may come.
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Steven – thank you so much for the moral support you’ve been providing. I agree with you in all you’ve said and it is strange that despite sort of coming to an understanding with all of these things, we still keep questioning why things happen the way they happen. I’m trying to come to terms with reality but it is one of the harshest of experiences so far.
I’m so sorry for your friend’s mom… that stuff is so scary and seems like its happening daily in this state! you are right, life isn’t guaranteed for any of us… I hope she is okay
I think the hardest part is realizing that we’re not in control. At least for me.
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so true! it forces us to accept his ways and plans even when we don’t understand them. really hard to live with though
Hi Pearl – I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and all the things you are going through. You have had to deal with so much lately. I’m sure he wants the best for you and for you not to worry. I think a person creates a journey and the journey molds the person…it is both.
You are brave to share your journey with the world. I believe prayer works not always in the way we think it will but in a focused, meditative way as well. It can help you get clarity on what is right in the world and how you can positively affect those around you even during very trying times.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you Aruni. Appreciate it very much.
Hi Pearl, I am so sorry to hear your father is not doing very well. I hope he starts feeling better very soon! I think prayer helps on some level, helping you to calm yourself down, reconnect with what you believe in, and give strength to your hopes. Hope to see good news on your blog in the next few days!
Lots of hugs!
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Pearl,
I hope your father has a complete and speedy recovery.
Does a person create a journey or the journey molds a person?
I think that the answer is both. If you believe that G-d has a master plan, then the structure and paths have already been set. But it is our first step that sets the stage for out life’s journey. Once we begin the journey, then we begin to be effected by it. At each stage we make choices based on what happens on the path. Those choices are what eventually mold us.
The lessons you learn and the choices you make will not only strengthen you in your journey, but will also be the template from which your children will decide how their journey will begin.
‘Though not always happy and fun, at the end we will see that it was all for the good’
Hi Pearl!
I’m so sorry to here about your father. I know that must be a very helpless feeling, and I can say that prayer works in my experience.
Unfortunately, I don’t always get a yes answer to my prayers, sometimes it is no, sometimes it is yes and sometimes it is wait. But I have personally experienced the mundane and miraculous answered in prayer.
“Heavenly Father, may your peace and protection rest with Pearl and her father. May your Spirit guide the hands of those who are caring, diagnosing and helping to heal him, and may your presence continue to make Yourself known in that place and in the hearts and lives of those who care and love Pearl’s father.”
Glenn
http://dreamingofsilverroses.com/2008/02/far-country/
My dear Pearl, I am saddened by your news and although he is weak it is surely a good sign that he wanted to try to get out of bed?
I have learned with age and experience that it does no good to torment ourselves with questions that we just cannot answer and there are some things we must just try to accept. I believe that while we can mold parts of our world we often try to change parts that we cannot, which leads to dissatisfaction.
You will be in my thoughts. Don’t forget to look after yourself too.
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you dont know me but i’ve read your blog for a while now. i’ll keep you, your family, and your father in my prayers. it reminded me of my brother’s “discovery” of cancer, the speed of the spread, my inadequacy, the doctors’ confident failures, and my brother’s courage. i do believe that prayer is answered – sometimes yes and sometimes no – and then there is the issue of time – i never get the timeline commitment. i dont believe that i can control “God” thru my prayers – i dont see the almighty as a “genii” that i can control… but, for me, prayer does give me the opportunity to cut thru my own b.s. to really get to what i really want – and that clarity, on occasion, gives me perspective and sometimes even understanding.
my perspective on your question is yes and yes – we do create our journey and our journey molds us. we have been given free-will with which we make choices… and from those choices we, hopefully, learn and make better choices… but that’s just my perspective.
My prayers are with you and your father, sweet Pearl. Words fail me in such moments. I rarely know what to say in times like this.
Your question: “does prayer really work?”… if you believe it does, it does. I believe in prayers, I am a believer in higher forces and I am superstitious. Also I am aware that life has its ups and downs and we have to be prepared for everything. Anything is possible.
Prayers tame your heart and give hope. That’s all the magic they do. Destiny might hold other cards for you, and you need to be strong and accept it, or fight it…
All my love.
Mig
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I just stumbled into your site through Entrecard. I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I’ll keep him in my thoughts and prayers. Prayers do work, believe in them.
It’s true that during these trying times we realize what’s important and what we value. All the craziness of our days which used to envelope us with so much concern falls into the background, allowing you to see, and feel, and think of what/who matters most.
Sending you hugs. Stay strong!
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Good luck to your father. My prayers will be with him and your family. It’s definitely a reminder of the things that are most important in your life when an event like this happens. Stay strong and unload your thoughts on our shoulders.
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David M, Alina, Mig, Rob, Glenn, Sue, David D and Joy:
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your sincere prayers and good wishes.
And a quick update. I just got home from the hospital and am completely exhausted! My dad’s condition is still very serious with viral pneumonia that got complicated with bacterial infection of one of the lung lobes! shortness of breath has been the issue all day and at times it was terrifying when his oxygen levels dropped to below 80 percent!
the good sign was towards the end of the day, when he seemed to start comprehending a bit better. The most frustrating part is red tape when a test is ordered but nurses cannot go forth with the test because ‘the order hasn’t appeared on the computer’ or when a medicine is ordered but they don’t have the medicine to give to patient ‘coz again, ‘the order’ has to go through a series of system steps before the medicine is prepared and delivered by the pharmacist.
Just know that I love you guys and wish you all every happiness you ever dreamed of.
Hi Pearl – I apologize, I don’t have any profound words or wisdom to offer, but we are thinking of you (in the Caribbean) and truly hope that your dad makes a speedy and full recovery.
Mark
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I popped back to see if you had any more news as you have been in my thoughts. I am glad that you have seen an improvement in him, that is a wonderful sign.
Love
Sue
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Pearl, ever since you let me know about your dad through email I’ve been keeping him in my prayers and thoughts as well. And after I finished reading this post, I found I had tears rolling my cheeks. What you’re going through is so difficult, especially because it’s someone you love so much. Like Steven Snell pointed out, everything happens for a reason, even if it’s not one we understand at the time, or ever will. You, your father, and your family are still in my prayers everyday, and I hope for a speedy recovery.
Much love and best wishes,
Tay
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…“don’t worry about me my child, I will be fine, take care of yourself”.
These words brought tears to my eyes.
I hope your father gets well super soon.
Lalla Mira’s last blog post..People In Order
Mark: Don’t apologize please! I appreciate it very much. Thank you.
Sue: thanks for checking back. His condition has gone down again and today he was put on feeding tubes
Tay: you have no idea how much it means to me that so many of my friends are praying for him and us. thank you!
Lalla Mira: thank you for the wishes..
My dad is fighting this ordeal but at times he looks very down and depressed. He is frail and extremely weak but we are hopeful. thank you all for praying for him and our family. I wish you all the best of best in life.
I’m sorry to hear about your father’s condition, please get well yourself so that you can be there for him, be strong.
My thoughts are with you and your family and prayers for your father’s speedy recovery.
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I believe that “prayer” of this nature can be beneficial. It is a way to visualize a positive outcome and to share an optimistic attitude. It is a selfless act and just puts good thoughts out into the world where they can help those who need them.
Over the last year or so of reading your blog you have given me much inspiration. I hope that I am able to return some of that good karma back to you.
You and your family are in our thoughts during this difficult time.
SB
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Pearl,
I have nothing to add to the above.
I wish your father and the rest of your family the peace and calmness that you need to go through this ordeal.
Yes, you all will be in our prayers.
Peace.
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Pearl, I just found your blog this moment, and am so moved by your caring for your father. I will keep him and your family in my prayers…for strength and healing, and will be back to check on both you and him. Thanks for blogging.
Hi pearl, I hope everything would be alright. I’m really surprised by your news after coming back from long term leave. I will pray for your father too. Hope he could maintain his desires on this world instead of giving up! GBU all…
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I found your blog through a friend who reads your blogs. He lead me here to learn about the art of writing and blogging. I lost my dad last April after a long battle with several illnesses combined. I would love to pray for you and talk with you if you would like to do that. My online door is always open for a friend.
In His Love, April
http://www.dreamingofsilverroses.com
I was one of the people that you emailed to let know what was going on. I’ve been keeping this post in my reader, marking it as unread every time I look at it, since the day you posted it.
You see, I was hoping to have something motivating and uplifting to say, something profound.
I don’t.
Those are all some really good questions, and I think everyone has to answer it for themselves. Anytime we lose friends, or have those close to us fall sick or come under unfortunate circumstances, those questions come to mind.
I hope you can find the answers, and I hope that you find comfort in your prayers. I hope your father recovers, and quickly.
You and your father are in my prayers Pearl.
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thanks to all of you who are praying for us and my dad. I’ve been really broken hearted to update you all that my dad’s condition has worsened over the last few days. Apparently he has developed a condition called pulmonary toxicity, as a side affect of a drug he was prescribed for arterial fibrillation. The drug is called Amiodarone and we were just not aware that it is such a fatal drug.
My dad had repeatedly mentioned to his cardiologist that he was having dry cough (one of the classic symptoms of this condition) ever since he had started taking this medication and that his diabetes doctor had told him that he did not need to be on Amiodarone, but the cardiologist dismissed his concerns saying that the dry cough could be a result of dry air in the home or an allergy from something.
The damage to the lungs is irreversible and needless to say that our family is feeling helpless and shattered at the moment. This morning he was put on ventilator. I cannot describe how difficult it’s been to see my dad going through the pain and frustration since he knows what is going on exactly.
This is a perfect example of the doomed medical system in this country. The doctors were very careless and irresponsible in not monitoring my dad’s lungs and did not care to listen to his complaints.
it was the same cardiologist who had also given him the blood thinners and failed to monitor his INR levels (supposed to be between 2 and 3, whereas my dad’s INR level was 5.6) causing the cerebral bleed which started this whole mess. If you or anyone who you know is taking this drug, I’d strongly suggest you do everything in your power to stop them from taking Amiodarone.
I am too exhausted, physically and mentally, to update this blog anymore. I hope you will find something useful in the archives. Once again, thank you all.
pearl’s last blog post..Does Prayer Really Work?
How’s your pronunciation?…
I came across this awesome blog post yesterday , which has gotten me thinking about my own relationship…
I’m not a religious person, but I believe there is a meaning in everything – although its hard to find sometimes. Some people tells me it is important to follow the flow – but what if it is a streaming waterfall? (like I feel you are into right now!).
Reading your last update makes it even more difficult of course, and I do wish I could say something to comfort, but words can’t express. I do think of you and your father and at least you can see there is a lot of us wishing you good luck – with good vibrations and the best hope!
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I believe prayer does work because it eases us through all the experiences life brings us which we can’t control.
I hope your dad gets better soon, and yes, my prayers are with you.
Kelly
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Pearl,
There are so many great comments above, that I’ll just simply say that I hope your dad gets better quickly. I’m not terribly religious, but I do believe in prayer, so I’ll say a prayer for him.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself.
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Pearl, yes prayer works, I could go into here but i will email you if thats ok , often times we dont feel like God even knows we are here, its in those times that we get closer to HIM ourselves, I was taught God answers prayer in 3 ways , yes , no , and wait. he hears you dear and you are in the grip of His grace
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Pearl,
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I have not had to endure the death of a parent. I believe prayer helps in all areas of life – especially in times of pain and healing.
God Bless you and your family.
Alex
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