little things that give us hope
It's been over two months since I've updated this blog and even though I browse through the web and meet/talk and socialize with many of you on various networking sites, I have to be honest that something inside me is not the same as before. The months after my father's passing haven't been easy on any of us in the family but it's been even tougher on our mother who is often hears him calling her name out for something. His presence in every room is still felt and even though we are comforted in the thoughts that he is around us and amidst us, the helplessness and not being able to see his physical self is just beyond any words could explain.
For me, there have been sudden and unannounced crying bouts at odd times and odd places, more so in my car while going home after work, which automatically disappear after some time. They are like spasms that come fast and make you feel like nothing in the world matters any more. All kinds of emotions, anger, helplessness, frustration, sadness, depression – any of these prop up at different times causing a lot of stress. Needless to say, it's been one of the most difficult things I have experienced.
With so much stress there have been many days when it became a burden to just get through the day let alone accomplish something. But, I am managing well so far. And the credit goes to all of you. My online community of friends – who are the reason I am able to write this post. You are the reason I have been able to keep my sanity many days when all else failed. The days when during my sadness, I didn't have the energy to do anything, when I wanted to be all alone yet needed the quiet support. It was easier reading your emails and short messages full of love, support and advice on twitter and StumbleUpon, than picking up the telephone to talk to someone. Your kind gestures, expressions of sympathy and offers to help out with this blog, everything – comforted and helped to pick up my spirit.
So, in this post, I want to take the time to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being there for me.
Steven @ http://traffikd.com/
Aruni @ http://www.entrepremusings.com/
Alina @ http://wordsofabrokenmirror.com/
Rob @ http://www.robschaumer.com/blog/
Glenn @ http://www.interfaithnetworking.com/myblog
Sue @ http://www.sueblimely.com/
David McCauley
Mig @ http://ewriting.pamil-visions.com/
Joy @ http://gourmeted.com/
Darren @ http://www.problogger.net/
David @ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/david-deangelo
Mark @ http://www.mytropicalescape.com/
Tay @ http://superbloggingtips.com/
Lalla @ http://www.lalla-mira.com/
betshopboy @ http://www.betshopboy.net/
Scott @ http://mythermos.com/
Morgan @ http://morganwrites.wordpress.com/
Shazza
Ken @ http://blogs.mysites-advisor.com/
April @ http://www.dreamingofsilverroses.com/
Mike @ http://port16.com/blog
Renny @ http://www.terella.no/
Kelly @ http://she-power.com/
Stephen @ http://www.scratch99.com/
Don @ http://makingsalesmakingmoney.com/blog/
Alex @ http://www.thenext45years.com/
Karen @ http://abaminds.com/
teeni @ http://vtroom.wordpress.com/
Lyndon @ http://www.cornwallseo.com/search
Meg @ http://blogpond.com.au/
Ange @ http://angesbiz.com/
Madhur @ http://www.whoismadhur.com/
Ben @ http://www.benh.org/techblog
Ritu @ http://www.ghostblogging.net/
Ray @ http://freshblogger.com
Donovan @ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/
Ruud @ http://ruudhein.com/
Akemi @ http://yes-to-me.com/
Ian @ http://www.mybigworldofcrap.org/
Pelf @ http://chenpn.com/
Frank @ http://www.seopranos.com/
Shankar @ http://www.shankarganesh.com/
Gazzali @ http://proenrichment.blogspot.com/
Isabella @ http://moritherapy.org/
Deborah @ http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/
Colin @ http://cotojo.wordpress.com/
Vivien @ http://www.inspirationbit.com/
Tony @ http://aplawrence.com/
Diane @ http://dianealdred.com/
Saboma @ http://saboma.stumbleupon.com/
Monika @ http://www.thewritersmanifesto.com/blog/
Diana @ http://www.134u.com/
Simonne @ http://www.alltipsandtricks.com/
Pablo @ http://blogsreview.net/
Matt @ http://lordmatt.co.uk/
Jay @ http://www.onlineopportunity.org
Mayank @ http://www.reviewsaurus.com/
Alex Petre
Wayne @ http://www.wayneliew.com/
Adnan @ Blogtrepreneur
Jacob @ http://jobmob.co.il/
Franco Yong @ http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Franco_Yong
Anna @ Stumble Upon
Kim @ http://laketrees.blogspot.com/
Jolynn Brailey @ http://www.thefitshack.com/
Susie @ http://soul-to-soul.com/
Glen @ http://www.viperchill.com/blog/
Isabella @ http://moritherapy.org/
Alex @ http://www.thenext45years.com/
Dawud @ http://dmiracle.com/
Bobby @ http://revellian.com/
Mark @ http://markeff.blogspot.com/
Ev @ http://wackymom.blogspot.com/
Mary Ann @ http://maryannaville.blogspot.com/
Maggie @ http://tasteofbothworlds.typepad.com/
Alina @ http://www.automaticlifechanges.com/
Barbara @ http://www.scvlife.net/
Maura @ http://momcominghome.com/
My Heartfelt Thanks!
It’s the least I could do. Do take care Pearl.
pablopabla’s last blog post..Proven Tips to Finding Advertisers For Your Blog
The passing of a loveone is a very diffucult time. Take your time and start posting when you are ready.
Regards, Gregory
You are welcome, Pearl. Life is sad sometimes, and no matter how painful it may be, death is also part of life. It’s only sometimes it comes much sooner than expected. Take care and don’t let yourself down.
Simonne’s last blog post..Do You Know How To Draw Anime?
Pearl, things happen and we over come them too, I know it takes time with what you’ve gone through but I’m sure that all the people will love to see you back in action.
God bless…
Mayank’s last blog post..Namaste!
Pearl, I admire your courage to be so vulnerable. Sometimes we all need to ask for some help. Hang in there and keep your faith. There’s no question there is a valuable lesson waiting for you on the other side of your grief and pain.
Alex
Pablo: thanks Pablo – you are very kind
Hey Greg: it definitely is. I start feeling sometimes as if everything around us is just a myth, a falsehood that doesn’t really exist… difficult to explain.
I do want to start writing but have no ideas what to write so Im thinking of doing a survey or something to find what my readers would like me to write on.. thank you for stopping by
Simonne: that’s so true, death is part of life and it’s something that ALL of us will have to face one day, regardless of our faith, age, color, creed gender or nation – and the pain and grief are going to be the same for all of us – but who remembers it? what’s amazing is that we never ever prepare for something that is so certain!
Mayank: that’s sweet of you.. I hope I can write something of value again so everyone comes back to this blog.. you know, I had been thinking of celebrating a year of blogging in April! we and our plans – I somehow don’t ever want to plan anything now.. I noticed the other day that the Alexa rank for this blog has gone up to 115000.. and was very disappointed coz it used to be 64000 at one time!
Alex: you know I’m one of your regular readers and was browsing through your site this week to get some inspiration and find answers… so thanks for writing it.
My eyes well up when you talk of faith – for how can someone who we have so much faith in, hurt us? My faith is shaken these days and I’ve been trying to understand this whole concept of life and death. Reading about it in books is so different than when you actually come face to face with it.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for your comeback. It must have been so hard for you and your family, and I feel for you. I am also glad you have the courage to go through this — so gracefully that you even honor us!
I’m just so glad I’ve kept your feed. Take time for grieving, you don’t have to write so often, but do comeback. We luv you.
Akemi – Yes to Me’s last blog post..If I have to work for an idiot, I may as well work for myself: Tony Lawrence
It’s important that in this online world where it’s so easy to treat one as “just another”, playing the “whatever happened to…?” game years later, that we stop to be kind and considerate and human. That we care for each other the way we would like to have been taken care of.
Pearl, the wait is long, longer than normal, but at the end of the journey you’ll be reunited again. Unfortunately that changes [bleeped out] about anything you feel right now, eh? It’s how it’s supposed to be, I think. I think it’s supposed to hurt real good.
With brotherly love — Ruud
Ruud Hein’s last blog post..Intention Deficit
Hang in there Pearl. I’m glad you’ve got such a wonderful support network.
Meg’s last blog post..I had a great idea for a blog post…
Pearl – just remember you are a precious person…just like a precious pearl. I’m sure what you are going through is normal for someone who has lost someone so dear and I’m so glad that even though you haven’t felt like posting, that you are still staying connected on twitter and other online avenues.
I know when you are ready, you will be able to share with us your insights and your journey that will in turn help others!
Aruni
I’m very glad to see you back, Pearl. I know how hard it is for you and your family now. Perhaps you should use this blog as an outlet for your soul. Judging by the amount of friends you have here who were there for you, you would have no problems with taking this blog to the next step.
inspirationbit’s last blog post..Meticulous Design: Information Architecture
I’m glad that your many online friends have helped you through this time. It’s rather wonderful to me to know that so many people care and want to help someone they have never met. It shows human nature is essentially caring. But they are just returning the friendship you have extended to them. I’m a great believer in ‘Do as you would be done by’. Take care. We look forward to your return. We miss you.
Diane’s last blog post..Rain, rain, go away…
Hey pearl, I am guilty for not “being there” when you needed someone, but I am glad you are taking it easy these days. Losing someone is never a good feeling, and I know there is no such thing as “done mourning”.
*hugs*
pelf’s last blog post..The Behler Conservation Center
@Akemi: thank you for keeping the feed and staying with the blog while I gather myself up
@Ruud: I am forever indebted to you guys for providing me that support in my most difficult time. you are right about that by that time everything changes :) it’s NOW I need to see him darn it!
@Aruni: glad I met you way back when.. thanks for always answering my tweets despite those thousand+ followers of yours :) and all the encouragement
@Vivien: thank you Vivien. I have such mixed feeling about this blog.. on one hand, I feel I did a good job with it and want to improve it further and love the fact that I met all these wonderful people, On the other, I am not ready emotionally, to put in that much time to take it to next level. But we’ll see. Hopefully I’ll be able to decide something in the near future..
@Meg: thank you for stopping by Meg…. these people are just awesome!
@Diane: thank you! I agree, human nature is caring at the core and I’ve been very fortunate in coming across some very kind people in the blogosphere. I miss you guys too, these conversations on the blog are so cathartic for me!
Dear Pearl!
You know I’ve been thinking of you a lot and feel so sorry for your loss. I’m glad it has been a comfort to you to know that people all over the world have you in their thoughts! The power of the support in blogshpere is amazing.
What an honour to be listed among your friends!
RennyBA’s last blog post..A memorial for TorAa’s son Ruben
@Pelf: right, I don’t know if it ever stops bothering to have lost someone so precious to you! don’t worry about anything. I know you were busy preparing to leave for US…
hope my country is treating you well :)
@Renny: Just came back from your blog after reading that awful post about Ruben.. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is for a parent to have to go on after such a loss and still be there for the other kids!
It is indeed very comforting to know I have friends and well wishers all over the world. Thank you for being so supportive Renny
Aww, Pearl. I think each of us knows that you would be there for us, so how could we not be there for you?! You take your time and grieve – we will be here for you when you are ready. Soon enough you will pick up and go about living the way that wonderful father of yours would be proud of. :) Although that pain of loss never completely disappears, it becomes a little more bearable. I’m glad your mom has you and I’m so happy to see all these wonderful people that are here for you. Hugs to you, my friend. Oh, almost forgot in my happiness to see a post from you, I’ve moved my blog – just remove the “wordpress” from my URL to find me.
teeni’s last blog post..People Like to Give Me Things
No problem at all Pearl. I’m glad you’re feeling up to things now.
Donovan
Hi Pearl,
I sincerely wish you all the best with what you’re going through and I’m sending you positive thoughts and support right now….
It looks like you have a lot of positive support from your online friends here, which just shows that the Internet does have a Lot of good uses when positive, like-minded people get together.
Take care and I look forward to the topic(s) you decide to write about. :)
JoLynn Braley’s last blog post..5 Tips to Keep Your Head in the Weight Loss Game
You’re welcome, Pearl. It’s the least I could do. It’s hard to lose someone close to your heart. Hang in there. And if you need a shoulder, I’m here. Take care. **hugs**
Joy’s last blog post..Junior Pretzels
I’m glad I could be here for you if even a little, Pearl. And if you ever need anything, or anyone to talk to, know I’m always here for you. I’m glad your online friends have been able to provide you some comfort through these difficult times.. Best wishes, and know that we love you!
Tay – Super Blogging’s last blog post..The Importance of Proofreading and Writing Well
Pearl, you are truly loved and have been missed from here. It makes me happy to see that you have come online and expressed your feelings and vulnerabilities as this can only make you stronger, as will the bouts of crying and all the emotions you go through.
I cannot fully understand what you are going through, and yet, I can feel some of your pain.
Thank you for including me in your circle of friends and please call out if you need anything.
May you be blessed.
Ange Recchia’s last blog post..Janette Toral is Looking for Influential Bloggers
Hi Pearl,
I am so glad that we were able to provide support to you when you needed it. It gives me hope that the anonymity of the Internet can recede and real human feeling and empathy can come through.
I was deeply affected by your writings about your Dad’s illness and passing and like most times when words fail me I found a musical response:
http://mythermos.com/archives/218-Ill-Remember-You.html
I have always appreciated your genuineness and was thrilled to see a post from you come up in my reader this morning – I so hope that you continue to share with us.
SB
Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing! What you’re going through isn’t easy, but it will get better day by day. Love to you and your family.
Jay’s last blog post..Oronjo Review
Pearl,
You obviously have a huge group of friends to turn to in tough times, and it’s not surprising since you are a great friend to all of us as well. I hope things continue to improve for you and your family.
Steven Snell’s last blog post..Luring Social Media Visitors to Other Pages
teeni, Donovan, Jolynn, Joy, Tay, Ange, Scott, Jay, Steven –
You guys have no idea how much you all mean to me! whereas I get mad at God for reasons beyond my comprehension, knowing you all warms my heart and I do thank him for that! Now I’m getting emotional :)
*Group Hug*
Scott: just saw that post on your blog and commented! Thank you so much.
It’s the least I could do Pearl. Hang in there!
Mike Scott’s last blog post..CBS is buying CNET for $1.8 Billion
little things mattered a lot Mike… thank you for always being there..
Pearl,
It’s good to see your post.
Be patient and kind to yourself while you experience all the emotions that make up your own unique grief. The road to healing can be a crazy ride. {{{hugs}}}
Take care,
Maura
Maura’s last blog post..If I Had A Million Dollars – Cool Home Office
Pearl, we could all use a group hug from time to time… HUGS
Ange Recchia’s last blog post..Janette Toral is Looking for Influential Bloggers
Pearl , look for my e-mail , please
Don’s last blog post..The Time Has Come to Fish or Cut Bait
@Don: I’ll wait for your email..
@Maura: you are so right about it… we missed him this memorial day weekend terribly coz he used to spend it mending his kitchen garden, it’s been over two months and still feels he’s not gone forever, that he’ll just show up somewhere.. it’s a horrible emptiness when the whole family gets together for something, we feel so incomplete. thank you for stopping by Maura..
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It is obvious that you are a very special person Pearl. I’ve thought about you several times over the last couple of months and wondered how you were coping with it all.
Good to see that you are not alone in this and with time your gashing wounds will start to heal. Death is horrible at any time for those left behind, but it also signifies a new beginning.
Please take care and know that we are all thinking of you.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Networking – Freelance Writing Guide
[...] me as happy than hearing that I helped to make a difference in somebody else’s life. The little things that give us hope can mean a world of difference to somebody [...]
Hi Monika: that’s so thoughtful of you! It definitely is a new beginning and a pretty challenging one. As I was writing on Scott’s blog last night, I was always closest to my dad in the family so there’s a huge void to deal with. It’s a frustrating experience as when I see my mom, I can’t tell whose grief is more, hers or mine? They were known as ‘love birds’ amongst their friend circle..
but like you said, the support I got from you guys is priceless! so THANK YOU.
Hi Pearl – Sorry, I am getting to this a little late…
I just wanted to say I hope you are doing okay. Since I have not lost a parent yet I won’t even pretend to know how you are feeling, but from the comments above you have many people on your side and hopefully you can draw some strength from that.
As for what you should be writing about, you are quite obviously a very talented writer! Don’t feel rushed and when you are ready maybe write about what makes you FEEL better.
If you need to post about how you are feeling then you should. I am sure there are MANY people who are dealing with the loss of a parent that would stand to gain a tremendous amount from you.
Whatever you decide, I am going to keep reading. :)
Take care, and be well.
MH
mark’s last blog post..39 Things I Have Learned As I Prepare to Turn 40
Hey Mark:
Believe it or not, I had started writing this post a few weeks ago but every time I opened it, couldn’t continue, so its a state of mind that’s not going away anytime soon but I am doing better. About your parents, I have only one thing to say – spend as much time as you can with them NOW so there are no regrets
I missed all of you a lot so writing this post and talking to everyone has really felt good. Good idea on writing what makes me feel better.
thank you so much for stopping by and don’t worry about the time. Those are some very nice things you said there! and THANK you for the reassurance to come back to read! Gives me a lot of courage to continue….
Hi Pearl,
I’ve just found your blog through a link from Monika’s post.
I am very late in saying how sorry I am about your Dad, but I have to say this. I lost my Dad several years ago and I do know just how bad it feels and I know what it’s like to comfort your Mom when you are grieving so hard yourself.
Having just read through your site, I can see you have a gift for writing and communicating with people and one day you will feel like doing that again.
Like Mark says, take your time.
I’m signing up for your RSS feed but am very happy to wait to read more when you are ready to post.
Take care.
zania’s last blog post..This is not the place to make money online
It is one of the toughest things you will face in life, as our parents age, it is us who becomes the caregivers, and it really is not an easy task. I know you will find the strength to continue on in your life and be a support system to your mother as well.
Those bouts of crying will become less frequent, but your memories and your love will last forever. I wish you peace during your time of healing.
Susie’s last blog post..It’s easy if you try
Pearl,
I have nothing to add to the above commenters – they’ve pretty much said what I would have said.
I, for one, am glad that you’re ‘back’ and I wish you all the best there is.
Peace.
MorganLighter’s last blog post..DEMOCRATS’ HYBRID PICKUP TRUCKS
It takes time to recover whenever you lose someone you love. So do take your time and comeback whenever you feel best.
Madhur Kapoor’s last blog post..The Last post (from College)
@Zania: So nice of you to stop by here to comfort me and I am sorry for your loss too. Thank you for saying such nice things and subscribing Zania – I hope I can keep up with everyone’s expectations…
@Susie: You are right, none of us were prepared for this at all… It’s completely crushing to have to go through my dad’s papers, clothes and other things now while making sure our mom doesn’t end up in depression from all of this… thank you susie, I appreciate your thoughtfulness a lot
@Morgan: thank you so much for stopping by and wishing well… btw, I printed the list of all the books you sent but haven’t had the calmness to be able to even start reading that stuff yet – i started to do some research on it but it drove me insane, so thought I should give it some time..
@Madhur: thank you … I appreciate it so much!
@ Pearl: no worries. I send you a massive huge hug all the way from Australia.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..Inspiration Strikes In Many Places
Hey Pearl. I’m glad to see you posting again. You know that I’ve been going through a similar funk, but for other reasons. It’s difficult to recover and find your bearings again after these emotional upheavals in life, but once you’re on that path, things do brighten up, with little rays peaking through the clouds in the strangest times and places. Keep looking for those moments. Talk to you soon…
Ray Dotson’s last blog post..How To Know When To Change Jobs
[...] good friend Pearl has written a post about the little things that give us hope through dark and trying times in our lives. She’s lately been dealing with the death of her [...]
Sorry I’m late in on this. No worries, and I really hope you continue to get through this and heal – it’s a very tough time for you, so my thoughts are with you.
Adnan’s last blog post..The Limitations of Social Media
Hi Ray… thank you. It is strange how we are so fragile and so resilient at the same time, isn’t it? I hope your dad is recovering and is getting a bit stronger as well… I truly appreciate all your support.. take care
Hey Adnan – no need to be sorry – thank you for being so thoughtful and all your support! tc
I hope that time will mend your grief Pearl..
sadly the loss will always be there :(
but the passing of time will make things easier….
your Dad would want that for you ..your Mum and family..
love Kim
laketrees’s last blog post..The Benefits of Entrecard
Hi Pearl! I am really happy to see a post from you. I often suffer from severe depression and when I’m feeling really bad, fellow bloggers are there to lift me up. To me, that’s what it’s all about. You are a wonderful person and I really appreciate your openness and heartfelt expressiveness. Have a wonderful week ahead!
Bobby Revell’s last blog post..What Makes a Great Blog Article
Pearl
I’m so glad to hear you have found comfort with your internet friends. This is going to be one of the hardest times of your life and there is no getting around that. Give yourself all the time and space you need. And if you find yourself bursting into tears for no specific reason in months to come, be okay with that. Great loss takes a long time to get over and it’s a process that cannot be rushed. I feel for all your family and know that there are many prayers with you.
Take it one minute at a time and be kind to yourself.
Kelly x
Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..Lessons Learned on the Way to Barcelona
Pearl,
Wish you the best in this difficult time.
Boris’s last blog post..Got More Time Then Money? Try Digital Point Forum
Hi Pearl,
Nice to have you back. A lost is a lesson to Love the one who still remain beside you. Just make sure to love yourself more and people around you.
Take care of yourself.
Ken
Ken Xu’s last blog post..New Direction for a Better Future
Kim, Bobby, Kelly and Ken
thank you so very much… as difficult as it is to come to terms with this phenomenon, your supporting comments and emails have definitely eased the hurt.
Hi Pearl, and you are very welcome. A warm welcome back hug to you, and so glad to see you are posting again. I’ve been grieving the loss of a marriage lately, and there is a time for quiet and being still, and then comes the time to let love and comfort back in to ease the painful energies. I’m glad we can all be here to help you with that part of the process, as just being there for you in spirit helps my own. Wishing you love and comfort, Pearl.
@Shazza: Im so sorry to hear about your situation, hope you feel better with time. So sweet of you to think of me and provide support amidst your own problems. I really appreciate it very much and will be praying for you too…
Oh my, thank you! But I really didn’t do anything…
Be strong!
Lalla Mira’s last blog post..Moroccan Weddings…
although it may sound a tad odd coming from me, since i really do not know you, and i just stumbled upon your site… but sometimes, hope comes from the strangest places, and its all good… but i do wish that one day that you’d get to pluck that lil’ thing called hope from within…
@Lars: Hey, no it’s not at all odd…to give a sincere helping tip, we don’t need to know each other so I really do appreciate your kind gesture… hope to see you around here more often..
@Boris: sorry i missed your comment.. thank you so much
Pearl girl, we’ve been in constant communication more by email than our blogs. As you’re likely aware, I went through the same heartache when my father passed away, who was my rock and last remaining immediate family member. I was and still do feel entirely alone ever since, despite having numerous good friends.
There is no formula or magic recipe to get you past the hard times. It works differently for each of us, and we all have different lengths of time as to how long it takes to begin healing. But the one thing that has helped me to maintain sanity is my firm belief that I will get to see him again one day. So it isn’t ‘good-bye,’ it’s ’see you again one day.’
Hey Deb.. I can imagine how hard that must be for you and you know how insane I’ve gotten at times… losing people so close to your heart is the ultimate pain we can go through if we think about it ..
We are trying but there are many complications – mom’s health is starting to suffer and she gets very depressed.. that thought will carry us too that we’ll meet him one day
Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope implies a certain amount of despair, wanting, wishing, suffering or perseverance — i.e., believing that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.
usage of the term hope follows some basic patterns which distinguish its usage from related terms:
* To wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled.
* Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude. But hope and optimism both can be based in unrealistic belief or fantasy.
* When used in a religious context, hope carries a connotation of being aware of spiritual truth; see Hope (virtue).
* In Catholic theology, hope is one of the three theological virtues (faith, hope, and charity), which are spiritual gifts of God. In contrast to the above, it is not a physical emotion but a spiritual grace.
* Hope is distinct from positive thinking, which refers to a therapeutic or systematic process used in psychology for reversing pessimism.
* The term false hope refers to a hope based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.
Support from others is always needed and appreciated, and the kindness of strangers is often surprisingly soothing at times.
We expect the care and kindness from those close to us but when strangers join hands to lift you it is always unexpected but appreciated and welcomed.
Time doesn’t heal but it blunts the edge of the sword.
@Find Property: so nice of you to explain in such detail! thanks :)
@Learn PHP: true, it’s been the biggest and sincerest support for me and it’s long lasting too since I can go back to everyone’s messages and read them over and over and feel the love.. thanks for stopping by!