To Tip or Not to Tip the Nutty Waiter?
This question has been on my mind for a few days.
I went to a restaurant the other day with a few of my colleagues from work. It was lunch time and this restaurant offers buffet for lunch. We have gone to this place many times before but recently there seems to be a new management and new crew.
At buffets, as you know, everyone gets their own servings and we all did. The waiter came and filled our glasses with water but then after his first appearance, the waiter couldn’t be seen anywhere the entire time. At one point we ran out of water and the food being very spicy and hot, we really needed it, the only thing that was not on the buffet table otherwise we would have gotten the refills ourselves. This particular restaurant is quite famous in my town and gets filled beyond capacity during lunch so I understand that the staff usually gets busy (with what? I’m not sure) and cannot attend every customer individually.
The hot and spicy food was getting to us and in the absence of water, we decided we were not going to tip them. (blame it on dehydration).
We finished our meal somehow and after paying at the front desk, headed to our cars while talking about how once this place used to be a very nice but the service was going downhill lately. All of a sudden we heard someone calling us from behind: “Miss… excuse me ma’am..” All four of us turned around and found that one of the waiters was walking towards us, with a smirk on his face. Not understanding what his problem was, we stood there waiting to hear what was his problem. The guy walked up to us and told us that we had forgotten to pay him the tip.
Huh? We were stunned and furious at his audacity. How could he follow us in the parking lot asking for money? All he did was fill our glasses with water one time at the beginning. We wondered what that smirk was for… did he really think we were going to feel embarrassed and end up paying the tips in the parking lot? Not to mention how suspiciously stupid the scene would have looked to someone – each of us handing over some money to a strange guy!
This is the first time in my life I’ve come across such behavior. No waiter in the world should be chasing customers in the parking lots to demand tips! We of course refused politely and said we didn’t think a gratuity was warranted as no service was provided, the guy insisted a couple of times but we just walked away! Phew! What has the world come to?
As ridiculous as it sounds, we recently also started noticing that this place has started to include the tip in the check when it’s first given to you so if you do not notice it, and end up giving 15% to 20% on top of that, it’s your fault and they will gladly take the money, knowing fully well that you didn’t notice the tip had already been added. Not to mention, some restaurants charge you tip on the take-outs too!
So, here are my questions:
Do you always pay tips even when they don’t provide any service?
I mostly do but this one time we collectively decided not to and the waiter came after us!
How would you have handled this? If you are not from United States, I’d love to know the custom and expectations in your country.
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I’m a banquet manager that insists my staff actually provide service to our guests. Unlike in a restaurant, there is always a “service charge” or tip placed on every check since the event is private with servers assigned just to them. In a restaurant everything is as is and based on the on-to-on meeting of guest and server. Maybe if more people stopped giving the mandatory tip, we would get better service.
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I live in the US and was at one time a food server. My understanding is that the act of leaving a quarter as a tip sends the message that you didn’t forget, but the service didn’t warrant more than a quarter.
On a similar note to your zany waiter, I once worked at a restaurant where a server chased down a client and gave them their tips back because it was so horrible. Now, the sad part was that this was a professional server, and one of the best, but the people were just uneducated and didn’t know any better. Sadly, for the server, the customers returned to the restaurant and complained and the server was fired on the spot. He didn’t argue saying “if those are the kind of people you are catering to, I don’t want to work here.”
I am all for adding a 15% gratuity to checks just because there are too many uneducated people that don’t realize that 15% is a starting point and that is someone does outstanding service it is worth 20% or more. In this case, if the server performs below standards, there should be an indication to let the manager know at which time the tip would be removed. Obviously, if people abuse this, they should not be allowed to return to the restaurant or not be entitled to the tip removal.
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Wow, I’ve never heard of that before. But you have to admit it worked. This guy put you in a position that made you feel uncomfortable, and essentially extorted money from you.
I used to wait tables, and it was hard work. So I am a little biased and always tip, because these servers don’t get paid much, and depend on their tips. However, my rule is start at 15%. If the server is bad I deduct 5% and really good I’ll add 5%.
I put in a few years waiting tables and I can’t imagine ever doing that. That’s beyond nutty.
Here is how I approach tipping. I grade my service and I start with an expectation of A. If I have no problems I give 20%. If they exceed my already high expectations I grade out at A+ and give 25%. Each mistake or irritation drops a half grade, and it takes getting down to a B- or so before I’ll drop my tip to 15%. You have to be pretty bad to not get a tip from me. What I will do though instead of leaving nothing is I will leave a few cents. Trust me, the server will get the message. If you don’t leave anything they will just assume you forgot.
At buffets, don’t the tips get shared with those that replenish the buffet? But I fully agree with you that the waiter should not have received squat…well maybe 50 cents…Lizzie had the same sort of service at an Applebees and left some change, but did not have the waiter chase her out of the restaurant.
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If there is a service charge included in the bill, you are not obliged to tip unless the service was so pleasing that you want to reward the person who gave that service to you. If you get bad service, you are not obliged to tip no matter where in the world you are. If like you did, you have made your displeasure known by paying at the desk, the waiter follows you out and reminds you to pay him, you simple point him back inside and say, that you will otherwise be obliged to report the poor service experienced by you, to his superiors.
The problem is that restaurants normally hire people on a low wage dangling the carrot of high tip income on top. They however do not train the staff to provide the service to earn the tips.
i live in an asian country. over here, i usually check if the receipt already includes a service charge. sometimes though, if the waiter was particularly good at watching out for our needs, i leave a tip on top of the service charge (which is in effect a forced tip).
if the service was lousy, i don’t leave a tip. it wasn’t earned, so i don’t give it. the actions of your waiter were rather surprising. i don’t think that would ever happen here. perhaps it’s also a cultural thing, as we’re not usually that forward (especially in this case where really the guy had no right to ask for a tip).
A hello from India here!
We generally dont have a service charge in the receipt, or atleast I havent come across any so far.
At buffets, we generally dont tip the waiter since he doesnt really do anything but at a la carte, we usually tip the waiter unless there is bad service. And even if dont tip a waiter, they dont ask us for one.
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Hello,
First, I found your site via the Killer Title Blog contest, so it works! Second, I stumbled you, too. Third, I could never been a waitperson, but my heart goes out to those who do. I’ve seen what they put up with, and when I can afford to, I am generous with my tipping–probably 15-20% depending on how they did. With that said, your waiter was just plain weird! On something, do you think? I’ve never heard of this before! G.
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In Australia, tipping is almost never done. Except when a customer is particularly pleased with the staff.
But our understanding is that tipping is more regular in places where service staff are not paid very well. But they usually are paid adequately here, so they do not work “for” tips, but instead tips are a bonus.
It depends in HK. some resturants have a 10% service charge policy, some don’t. If the food is good, I would give some (extra) tips.
And I forget where I read this: that in the States waiters have low basic wages and hence they are actually living on the tips from customers – so if the tips are not generous enough, those waiters would chase you all the way to get more tips. Now I see the story is real.
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[...] To Tip or Not to Tip the Nutty Waiter by Pearl [...]
@banquet manager: service charge added to private events makes a lot of sense than at a restaurant because at a private event, as a customer, I am the one getting ALL of their time and attention
@Anthony: agree with you completely that the servers should definitely be rewarded for their hard work BUT people who don’t leave the tips aren’t necessarily uneducated IMHO.. and my post is definitely not directed towards ALL the servers, and we did not go back in to complain but if he had continued chasing us further up to our cars, we’d definitely have gone back in.. coz that would be harassment…:(
@Joshua: I have a soft corner for anyone working hard for their money but I strongly feelthat a little courtesy towards customers can benefit them a lot
@ITGBlog: I agree we might have been harsh with him, but still, running after us in the parking lot while calling us out loud was freaky :)
@Adam: Applebees has let us down a bit too many times lately on the take outs but I never complained… just recently though one of my friends called them from his home after realizing that the Orange Chicken didn’t have any sauce and it was completely dry .. so their manager said they’d send him a complementary gift certificate for the same amount :)
@rummuser: right, there should be some training for the servers if they are right out of high school or some young teenagers but this guy was older and should have known better
@Mjuboy: sounds good and I bet they are too proud to ask for a tip :)
@HighGrace: thanks for the stumble :)
@Aurelius: I thought the same up until I started reading more on this after making this post.. that the tips were just the bonus and that someone nice(r) would make more in this job than someone who doesn’t care!
@Krix cpec: I hadn’t heard that in US they chase customers all the way to get more tips :) I am in US and this is the first time I’ve come across such behavior.. and it all depends on which restaurant you work for, not all are minimum wages..but tips do make a great bonus of course
@Everyone: thank you all for stopping by and contributing your opinions.. this waiter was definitely a bit out of line .. I do start at 15% also and then it depends if the service is better than average, I’ll even increase it up to 20%.. just yesterday gave my hairdresser almost 22% so no, I’m not stingy :) but none of us knew about leaving a quarter to get the message across… should have done that I suppose..
I would give 12%-22% depending on the level of service. IMO the quality of food should not affect the tip (the waiter doesn’t make the food, right ? ).
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I’m surprised that he took notice of you leaving the restaurant in the first place. Obviously, he knew about his rights. Yet very little about customers rights. Lucky him. Thanks to you, he won’t have to chase customers down to the parking lot any longer.
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Hi Pearl – I usually leave tip of about 20% but will reduce it if the service is bad or non-existent. I don’t usually leave a tip at a buffet place because as you said they mainly serve water and the busboy/girl cleans up the dishes. If they are nice or it’s a place I frequent often then even if it’s a buffet I’ll throw in a small tip but usually not 15% or more because the service level and requirement is so different in a buffet place vs. a sit down full service place.
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That was really outrageous on the part of the waiter. I might have called the restaurant manager afterward to report it.
I’m big on customer service so if I receive exceptionally good service, I’ve left up to a 25-30% tip. But if it’s just so-so service I’ll leave 10-15%.
If it’s truly atrocious service I won’t leave anything at all, and depending how awful the service is, I’ll probably even have a chat with the manager.
I know it might seem harsh but I believe that by not complaining we’re actually saying that it’s “ok” to receive bad service.
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I believe it’s called a tip for a reason, it really bothers me when they automatically add in the gratuity. That being said I think the service would need to be absolutely horrible to even consider leaving less than 15%.
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I agree with the above posters. I probably would have asked the server to let us all go in and talk to the manager. I almost guarantee you that the waiter would have backed off. I was a restaurant manager for years before getting into computers. I would have definitely fired the server immediately for harrassing the customer. It’s up to the server to deserve the tip.
In this case, if you never saw the waiter again, I guess they didn’t deserve the tip. Nothing worse than being thirsty and a stack of dirty dishes on the table.
Funny— I have about the same scale in my head as you do, it sounds like: 15% is his/hers to lose, and I will go to 20% if they make an effort, as is often the case in the US (side contention: I think that the US has waitstaff whose friendliness/competence rivals anywhere in the world, that I’ve seen, but that’s another post).
In this case, I’m sorry, it sounds like he’s on the way out anyway, and I’d give him nothing at all, not even another thought.
Pearl, thanks for the response.
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Well in Norway the prices are considerable high and the tips are most often included. It depends on the restaurant and the service, but I often add 10% anyway. Other kinds of services is not that common and always included – I mean in one way or the other, you pay for it: there is no such as a free lunch you know :-)
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This is a subject that is somewhat near and dear to my heart having spent a considerable amount of my life working in the food service industry.
It was always my understanding that a tip was extra for ‘Extra Effort’ given. The servers regular wage is what they’re entitled to for showing up and staying at work on any particular day. However this has changed dramatically as restaurants have somehow managed to become legally able to pay servers less than half of the already ridiculous minimum wage.
While I do certainly feel for the server I’m not real big on ‘entitlement’ and so feel no obligation to provide any payment above and beyond the stated prices on the menu. That said I am absolutely willing and do in fact ‘Tip’ very well those who put forth the effort to earn it.
For those restaurants that insist that I reward poor service by automatically including a gratuity on my check even when the service was clearly sub-par I make it a point to make my point with the acting PIC and vote with my dollars. As in take them elsewhere next time.
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@Anti Scams: I never said the food was not good, it was spicy and hot and we needed someone to give us water so even after asking for it a few times, no one cared to bring it to us
@Dee: exactly.. that’s what irked us too
@Aruni: I’m all for not leaving any tips for buffets too.. I may consider this for future
@Bean Jones: I agree.. we should have complained but shied away for some reason.. also, it was lunch time and we all needed to get back to work
@John Real Estate: I admit we were harsh and now it doesn’t seem to be as big of a deal but at the time, we really felt the spicy food got to us ;) oh well..
@Computer Guy: thanks! they shouldn’t automatically get the tips.. tips are the reward for being good I agree..
@Neolight: agree.. he lost because of his attitude and if he had not come out of the restaurant to chase us, may be we would’ve forgotten the next time around but now we’ll remember :)
@banquet manager: welcome! thanks for stopping by
@RennyBA: hehe, we paid them the price of lunch :)
@Clyde: it’s funny that we went to the same restaurant last night and there were a couple of servers hovering around us from time to time.. service was extra-ordinary and I started feeling uneasy and thought someone might have found out I blogged about them ;) not that I mentioned any names, may be I felt a bit guilty lol
thanks guys for all the comments, I really appreciate it. Sorry for late replies..I’ll do better I promise … Please visit again!
We do not have a tipping culture here in Singapore because there’s a mandatory service charge of 10% levied on customer by service providers.
It is no wonder that service standards here are on a decline as such mandatory service charge does not provide any incentive for service providers to go out of their way to provide good service.
In short, even if the service was poor or there’s minimum service like in your case reported in this post, a 10% service charge will still be added to the final bill.
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What nerve the “un-waiter” exhibited. I would have, after being accosted by this idiot, returned to the restaurant and had a talk with the manager/owner. Had the manager/owner responded with indifference – then he would have lost my business and I would tell ‘the world’ about the outlandish behavior which I had experienced.
Regarding the amount to tip – poor service – 0%, fair service – 10%, great service – 20%.
@betshopboy: I think there shouldn’t be a mandatory service charge above and beyond regular salary, in any country… well, may be in some countries there should be, I don’t know.. ‘coz at some places may be servers HAVE TO work harder than here in US but like you said, what’s the incentive then?
@MorganLighter: As bizarre as it was, I think someone from the restaurant might have seen him talking to us in the parking lot, so their service was much better last over the weekend.. who knows! we decided to stay away from them for some time and not push our luck though :)
I usually tip between 10 – 20% (and even more if they were really good) depending on the service. If the service is real bad I will be real stingy! A tip is supposed to be for good service – should not be expected. We opened and ran a small cafe for a year – we taught our wait staff about good service and a welcoming personality. The cafe is still doing well four years later (our waitress bought it from us) and still gives great service.
Haha! I would freak out if they stopped me in the parking lot for money! In America, most waiters and waitresses make $2.13 per hour, so if they don’t get tipped, they don’t make enough money to live. I am a good tipper, but only if I get good service. I let them slide if they are obviously overworked and tip them even if I get bad service :smile:
That sounds pretty alarming and rude… But anyway, i usually will always tip the waiter no matter the service, it’s just something i’ve always done without thinking, they work pretty hard and probably get fed up doing it so i like to make sure they can live… or at least do my part.
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Oh, heck no. To be brutally honest, that waiter is lucky to have pulled this on you, not me. My response to that sort of behavior is to stride straight back into a restaurant and demand to see a manager and explain what just happened and why that stunt means I won’t be setting foot in that establishment again.
A guy like that not only deserves to go without a tip, but really should be fired on the spot.
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Sometimes service is poor but it is not the server’s fault. Even when it is the server, often there are mitigating circumstances. The person is new,has far too many people too serve, or maybe just having a bad day – as long as they are trying then I can forgive and leave a tip. More often than not, I get good service because I’m friendly and fair.
Thanks, Tom
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I am a fan of the minimum tip of 15%. Maybe the bad service you got was on a really bad day. I do reward good service with a better tip though.
I think this is something that can be left to the instincts.
You can whack him if you like too.
As Aurelius says, tipping is not expected as much as in US (or the UK)although it is still commonly done in restaurants. Minimum wage rate laws mean that you will not see $2.95 pay rates – I doubt even if it were cash in hand and the person was illegally collecting the dole too.
I will tip in a restaurant only if the service warrants it and definately not if it were already included in the bill.
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@Bobby: this happened in America ;-) I doubt their wages are less than 3 bucks… that’s below minimum wage, how can that be?
@Mr. Article: they do work pretty hard most days probably but that day we didn’t really see them around so we had no way of knowing if they were working or not :)
@AutoCad: now that’s exemplary, your waitress still keeping the norms that you established..
@FatherOfAsh: hmm, firing would be pretty drastic I believe, but a bit of talk to him by the manager would do for me :)
@TRCoach: there could be miriad reasons I agree but still, as customers, we sure freaked out :) and I don’t think their behavior was based on our behavior!
@faculty jobs: glad to have you here, thanks
@psychic: hmm, many days I feel like whacking all my spammers for a change too :D
@Sueblimely: exactly, I have a hard time agreeing with this practice of including tips in the bill – specially as they don’t tell you if you somehow missed it and paid the tip on top of the tip!
I was a server for over two years and then went to work as a barista for another year. In some states restaurants are not required to pay their employees min wage (it’s usually 1/2 min wage), in those states it’s accepting to feel a bit of an obligation because they’re not being paid fully by their employer. However, I live in a state where min wage plus tips is being paid. Taking this into consideration, I would always tell my complaining co-workers that they should always be greatful for anything they receive because people working in retail (trust me, that’s a far worse job than waiting tables) ONLY make min wage with very small 10 cent raises every 6 months usually maxing out around $10 an hour. I never feel bad leaving a poorly served table with little or no tip, but do feel great to leave a well served table with a great tip. I think that it’s completely assinine to assume that a tip is a requirement (unless for a large group). A tip is just that, a tip. If the restaurants want their staff to receive more money they should raise the prices of the food and pay them more.
A tip isn’t ‘a right’ it has to be earned in exchange for good and efficient service. There are low paid workers in all walks of life and not all of them have the opportunity for ‘tips’ to boost their earnings. I sympathise with such people, but chasing a tip is simply not on.
I once had a similar experience with a rude waitress in a bar. I decided to tip her 10% instead of 15%, after I had run up a tab. She had been rude to me and my date all evening.
When she got the bill, she hurried over to my table and loudly said, “Is there some kind of problem?!” It was a little embarrasing in front of my date, as she was creating a scene. To make matters worse, she had summoned her manager, who was now on the scene, demanding that I pay 15%.
Instead of trying to argue about it, I just paid the extra money, and told them that they had lost a patron, and that I would never recommend their establishment to anyone again.
They went out of business about six months later.
I have a feeling there will be many that would like what I have to say, but I am with Aurelius from Australia. To me tipping is a bonus NOT pay for services. A restaurant should pay their waiter and waitresses a wage appropriate for their job. I deal with customer value all the time in my job as a quality consultant and the way I look at tipping is that the waiter/waitress needs to add value to my dinning experience go get the a tip from me. If they just take my order and deliver it no followup they get nothing. I can get better service at a fast food place. If they give me exception service then they will get a good tip over 20%.
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Funny— I have about the same scale in my head as you do, it sounds like: 15% is his/hers to lose, and I will go to 20% if they make an effort, as is often the case in the US (side contention: I think that the US has waitstaff whose friendliness/competence rivals anywhere in the world, that I’ve seen, but that’s another post).
In this case, I’m sorry, it sounds like he’s on the way out anyway, and I’d give him nothing at all, not even another thought.
I always leave the waiter a 15% if I am satisfied with their service. Otherwise I do not leave money and I make sure to change the restaurant. In this way, I do not have the tension and it is ok.
Here in The Netherlands there is service included in the bill, and we do not have to pay 15% or 20% on top like in the US. Most people do add a tip when the service etc have been exceptionally good. I would have acted the same way like you and your friends did however, and the waiter was definitely insane to chase you in the parking lot asking for the tip… :)
I can’t tolerate such type of things. A waiter deserve tip when he/she provide the best service to their customer, otherwise no one can want to visit again a such type of place where you not satisfied..
This post is a good one. What i feel is that we should not encourage tips.
I usually tip waiters, bartenders, all the grunt workers. One time, a certain customer who complains a lot about the service in the restaurant he was, the bummed up waiter knows a wicked move to retaliate that irate customer. What do you know, the customer enjoyed his dinner and leaves, only to find out that the waited spat on that customer’s food. So we should be nice and generous to waiters. :)
“The hot and spicy food was getting to us and in the absence of water, we decided we were not going to tip them.”
Tips are customer’s prerogatives. And of course, customers would only grant tips if the waiters are worthy of that. You got bad service, so definitely, you shouldn’t give tips.
“As ridiculous as it sounds, we recently also started noticing that this place has started to include the tip in the check when it’s first given to you so if you do not notice it, and end up giving 15% to 20% on top of that.”
Honestly, what kind of restaurant is that? It should have been closed down.
“The guy walked up to us and told us that we had forgotten to pay him the tip.”
You and your friends must have been really pissed and surprised. What did you told the waiter? Have you considered talking to the manager?