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Are you an introvert or just shy?

pearl 20

This is the ongoing survey question over at The Mighty Introvert authored by Mark Dykeman.

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At the time I saw the survey,  57 out of 67 people had already answered that they were Introverts!  That is 85% – a huge majority.    I am assuming that most of the people visiting Mark’s blog and answering this question might also be bloggers.

I used to think the term Introvert was more applicable to the offline, face-to-face interactions but recently,  I’ve found myself struggling to participate in discussions on twitter and another network I am a member of.  I felt the same feeling that you get when you first start blogging with no readers.  Except, on twitter you already have people ‘following’ you.  That I think contributes to an already shy person’s nervousness even more.   Its almost like you are on a stage and people are watching you and waiting to hear the words coming out of your mouth.  Like stage fright you know?

But I am trying to participate and learn the network.  You could very well say I don’t need to try to get comfortable with the network if its making me feel this way, well, that’s the point.

Whereas I might consider myself an introvert at time, I am also very outgoing.  I am shy at times and find it hard to participate, but I have a drive to learn and be better.  So I keep trying.  I think no one can be a 100 percent introvert.

So here are my questions.

What scenarios make you behave as an introvert?  and why?

Are you an extrovert all the time?  What advice would you give to those who are not extroverts?

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20 comments
teeni

Maybe I misunderstood but in my opinion – introverted means you spend a lot of time in your own head – that is definitely true in my case.
Shy, I always defined as being uncomfortable in social situations. I used to be very shy but learned I had to speak up for myself or get walked all over so now I’m pretty outgoing although sometimes I still have to force myself.

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pearl

it is a bit confusing to me too.. so may be people can be shy as well as introvert at the same time.. In my mind, theres a sort of negative connotation with the term introvert than with shy… I used to think I was introvert (I still spend a whole lot of time thinking) but then thought I was just shy, not introvert…. well, may be I am both LOL

Joanna Young

Pearl, I think Teeni’s right, introvert has something to do with how we think, learn, the time we need to spend alone. Shyness is more like awkwardness in social situations.

I’m an introvert and shy, and the world of blogging is wonderful to me because it doesn’t make me feel shy. I can connect with people quietly in these little comment boxes, and make friends slowly but surely over time, which is what my introvert style prefers.

It took me ages to work out twitter, until someone suggested I just sit and listen until I notice a conversation or a question where I could add something of value, or someone I ‘knew’ that I could connect with.

If you try and think of interesting (and extrovert) things to say all the time you’ll go crazy. But I think there’s room for us introverts there too.

Joanna

Anthony Lawrence

I don’t know.

I’m not shy. I’m not afraid to make my opinions known, online or in real life. I never feel intimidated by anyone.

But on the other hand, I will sometimes keep my mouth firmly shut when around obviously stupid people. If they are spouting disgusting junk (racist, homophobic) I’ll say something, but I’ll keep it short and am not interested in getting into an argument with them.

And I’m not generally interested in “social” events (again, on-line or otherwise). If there will be bright, interesting people, that’s one thing, but when the opposite is more likely, I’ll stay away.. so I suppose that’s a form of introversion.

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david deangelo

It really depends on what the definitions are for introvert and extrovert. We could be moving between these two ranges at different situations.

For example, I am extrovert while i am out with friends. I like meeting new people, and have no problems in initiating conversations with people I don’t know. (Which comes to your other question. I was not like this before, but had to step out of my comfort zone. Once we do this, our comfort zone widens and initiating conversation with strangers is no longer scary). However, whenever I am deep in my work at home, I am guilty of ignoring people around me, making me very introverted.

pearl

Hi Joanna – I thought about the title of this post and then read what I had written – and thought I was perhaps not thinking clearly yesterday [had too much novacaine for the root canal perhaps :)] but I am starting to see what you mean by the two terms –

And I think it is even tougher for someone who is introvert AND shy to make a point and make it at the right time.. I continuously struggle with ‘getting in’ the conversations and sometimes I keep thinking and the people have moved on to the next subject :) and that is frustrating…

I’m gonna keep at twitter though ‘coz even if I don’t add anything useful, I feel the need to check it out just know what people are talking about.. and that is sound advice to just ‘listen’ whats going on there…

thanks for the support Joanna … I have the same situation you describe, blogging has allowed me to express what I might not otherwise be able to say (or say at the right time)..

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pearl

Tony – you are a wise one :)

I don’t know, I wouldn’t call it introvert behavior if you ‘choose’ to stay away from un-intelligent, junky discussions.

I also do not get involved in arguments but its the other situations when I DO feel I might have a valid point and something useful to add, instead of just saying it, I’d weigh it and think about it before blurting something that others may not find useful! guess thinking too much about what others might think of what I said? I’m not sure but it does get frustrating at times…

pearl

Hi David.. thats interesting that out with friends you are extrovert but at home you could be an introvert

I am fine initiating conversations one on one – but its different if I am in a gathering where I didn’t know anyone.. I’d probably be standing in a corner and would be finding my way out as quick as possible :) And this also goes in an online setting where many people might be discussing something! and Twitter feels one of such places..

Phil the Plumbing Expert

I also consider myself an introvert and shy also.. I’m confused!
Shy, I find hard time to get myself into a conversation and all I want to is to just keep in silence and listen. It’s just that I’m not comfortable with them.

betshopboy

I am the sporty type who loves sports and outdoor adventures. But when it comes to human interactions I prefer less talk and more actions. I’m not the kind that can liven up a party or enjoy the limelight, or even chat up a girl.

However, when I’m online, I don’t find it uncomfortable sharing my thoughts through my writings and my comments.

So am I introvert or just plain shy? I’m not quite sure myself.

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