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To Tip or Not to Tip the Nutty Waiter?

pearl 47

This question has been on my mind for a few days.

HotPepper

I went to a restaurant the other day with a few of my colleagues from work.  It was lunch time and this restaurant offers buffet for lunch. We have gone to this place many times before but recently there seems to be a new management and new crew.

At buffets, as you know, everyone gets their own servings and we all did.  The waiter came and filled our glasses with water but then after his first appearance, the waiter couldn’t be seen anywhere the entire time.  At one point we ran out of water and the food being very spicy and hot, we really needed it, the only thing that was not on the buffet table otherwise we would have gotten the refills ourselves.  This particular restaurant is quite famous in my town and gets filled beyond capacity during lunch so I understand that the staff usually gets busy (with what? I’m not sure) and cannot attend every customer individually.

The hot and spicy food was getting to us and in the absence of water,  we decided we were not going to tip them. (blame it on dehydration).

We finished our meal somehow and after paying at the front desk, headed to our cars while talking about how once this place used to be a very nice but the service was going downhill lately.   All of a sudden we heard someone calling us from behind: “Miss… excuse me ma’am..”  All four of us turned around and found that one of the waiters was walking towards us, with a smirk on his face.   Not understanding what his problem was, we stood there waiting to hear what was his problem. The guy walked up to us and told us that we had forgotten to pay him the tip.

Huh?  We were stunned and furious at his audacity.  How could he follow us in the parking lot asking for money?   All he did was fill our glasses with water one time at the beginning.   We wondered what that smirk was for… did he really think we were going to feel embarrassed and end up paying the tips in the parking lot?   Not to mention how suspiciously stupid the scene would have looked to someone – each of us handing over some money to a strange guy!

This is the first time in my life I’ve come across such behavior. No waiter in the world should be chasing customers in the parking lots to demand tips! We of course refused politely and said we didn’t think a gratuity was warranted as no service was provided, the guy insisted a couple of times but we just walked away!  Phew!   What has the world come to?

As ridiculous as it sounds, we recently also started noticing that this place has started to include the tip in the check when it’s first given to you so if you do not notice it, and end up giving 15% to 20% on top of that, it’s your fault and they will gladly take the money, knowing fully well that you didn’t notice the tip had already been added.  Not to mention, some restaurants charge you tip on the take-outs too!

So, here are my questions:

Do you always pay tips even when they don’t provide any service?

I mostly do but this one time we collectively decided not to and the waiter came after us!

How would you have handled this?  If you are not from United States, I’d love to know the custom and expectations in your country.

photo: Digital Plus Art & Photo

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47 comments
Personal Development by TRCoach

Sometimes service is poor but it is not the server’s fault. Even when it is the server, often there are mitigating circumstances. The person is new,has far too many people too serve, or maybe just having a bad day – as long as they are trying then I can forgive and leave a tip. More often than not, I get good service because I’m friendly and fair.
Thanks, Tom

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faculty jobs

I am a fan of the minimum tip of 15%. Maybe the bad service you got was on a really bad day. I do reward good service with a better tip though.

psychic

I think this is something that can be left to the instincts.

You can whack him if you like too.

Sueblimely

As Aurelius says, tipping is not expected as much as in US (or the UK)although it is still commonly done in restaurants. Minimum wage rate laws mean that you will not see $2.95 pay rates – I doubt even if it were cash in hand and the person was illegally collecting the dole too.

I will tip in a restaurant only if the service warrants it and definately not if it were already included in the bill.

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pearl

@Bobby: this happened in America ;-) I doubt their wages are less than 3 bucks… that’s below minimum wage, how can that be?

@Mr. Article: they do work pretty hard most days probably but that day we didn’t really see them around so we had no way of knowing if they were working or not :)

@AutoCad: now that’s exemplary, your waitress still keeping the norms that you established..

@FatherOfAsh: hmm, firing would be pretty drastic I believe, but a bit of talk to him by the manager would do for me :)

@TRCoach: there could be miriad reasons I agree but still, as customers, we sure freaked out :) and I don’t think their behavior was based on our behavior!

@faculty jobs: glad to have you here, thanks

@psychic: hmm, many days I feel like whacking all my spammers for a change too :D

@Sueblimely: exactly, I have a hard time agreeing with this practice of including tips in the bill – specially as they don’t tell you if you somehow missed it and paid the tip on top of the tip!

Darlene

I was a server for over two years and then went to work as a barista for another year. In some states restaurants are not required to pay their employees min wage (it’s usually 1/2 min wage), in those states it’s accepting to feel a bit of an obligation because they’re not being paid fully by their employer. However, I live in a state where min wage plus tips is being paid. Taking this into consideration, I would always tell my complaining co-workers that they should always be greatful for anything they receive because people working in retail (trust me, that’s a far worse job than waiting tables) ONLY make min wage with very small 10 cent raises every 6 months usually maxing out around $10 an hour. I never feel bad leaving a poorly served table with little or no tip, but do feel great to leave a well served table with a great tip. I think that it’s completely assinine to assume that a tip is a requirement (unless for a large group). A tip is just that, a tip. If the restaurants want their staff to receive more money they should raise the prices of the food and pay them more.

judith

A tip isn’t ‘a right’ it has to be earned in exchange for good and efficient service. There are low paid workers in all walks of life and not all of them have the opportunity for ‘tips’ to boost their earnings. I sympathise with such people, but chasing a tip is simply not on.

Bruce Cigarettes

I once had a similar experience with a rude waitress in a bar. I decided to tip her 10% instead of 15%, after I had run up a tab. She had been rude to me and my date all evening.

When she got the bill, she hurried over to my table and loudly said, “Is there some kind of problem?!” It was a little embarrasing in front of my date, as she was creating a scene. To make matters worse, she had summoned her manager, who was now on the scene, demanding that I pay 15%.

Instead of trying to argue about it, I just paid the extra money, and told them that they had lost a patron, and that I would never recommend their establishment to anyone again.

They went out of business about six months later.

Statsman

I have a feeling there will be many that would like what I have to say, but I am with Aurelius from Australia. To me tipping is a bonus NOT pay for services. A restaurant should pay their waiter and waitresses a wage appropriate for their job. I deal with customer value all the time in my job as a quality consultant and the way I look at tipping is that the waiter/waitress needs to add value to my dinning experience go get the a tip from me. If they just take my order and deliver it no followup they get nothing. I can get better service at a fast food place. If they give me exception service then they will get a good tip over 20%.

Statsman
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dehydration symptoms

Funny— I have about the same scale in my head as you do, it sounds like: 15% is his/hers to lose, and I will go to 20% if they make an effort, as is often the case in the US (side contention: I think that the US has waitstaff whose friendliness/competence rivals anywhere in the world, that I’ve seen, but that’s another post).
In this case, I’m sorry, it sounds like he’s on the way out anyway, and I’d give him nothing at all, not even another thought.