Interesting Observations

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Being Aware of Now

Do you ever find yourself thinking and reviewing the events that happened in the past? Things that happened just recently or sometimes even in the distant past? I used to spend way too much time thinking what happened, what could have been or even what will happen. This state of mind is not constant so to speak, but it stays in the subconscious. We all do it. We are constantly either thinking about something that didn’t turn out the way we expected it to or did turn out the way we wanted it… or how things are going to be in immediate or distant future. As a result we are constantly living a reactionary life.

This concept has been on my mind for a few days now because two years ago around the same time, I lost two relatives. Two uncles who were brothers, passed away within one month. That was the first time in my life I had experienced death from so close. I attended both funerals and was depressed for months after that! What I could not come to terms with was the time I could have spent with them and didn’t because of everything that was going on in my life. I have avoided things that I felt I could live without. And meeting uncles was something I definitely could live without. I loved both of these men dearly but we had strong differences of opinions. So having to go to meet them and spend an hour or two seemed like too much trouble at the time! But with their sudden passing, I was left with a hole in my heart. A huge resentment. I was haunted for weeks and months because of all things that now remain unsaid. The missed opportunities.

I believe we are all missing opportunities to some extent on a daily basis. We need to stop constant judging, speculating, criticizing, worrying about the future and getting angry about the past or even the people around us, and start living in the moment. We need to stop living a reactionary life, the life that is a result of something else and start living just in what is now. I came to this realization when after those two tragedies back to back I was killing myself with the guilt I felt, a friend presented me with the book called Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

I have started reading this book again because our minds play tricks on us and needs re-direction from time to time.
The book’s title says it all and some excerpts go like this

–“To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be.”

and

–“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

So this change in our thinking should not have to wait for a tragedy to happen. We need to do whatever it is we need to do to start living in the now moment, believe in our abilities and go after our dreams without worrying too much about the outcomes. This is the only way to ultimate happiness. Be aware that what has happened will not change and what has to come, we do not know, there is only NOW, this very moment. Live it, enjoy it and make the most of it.

What’s your view on life at this very moment?

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18 comments
RennyBA

This was a very touching post and a great reminder. In our busy life we often tends to rush ahead in stead of staying in the past – to wish for all the things we don’t have, instead of being happy for what we’ve got. I’m thinking of the song: ‘… if one could save time in a bottle..’ but we can’t! So when life is passing by, we often forget that the journey is the life in itself.

Btw: I’m here to thank you for Faming me! I’ve returned your favor of course and also listed you on my BtF post.

Tom

Very personal post Pearl, we all appreciate your willingness to share so much with us. I like the way Ken put it above, but for me it’s much more of nebulous, foggy sort of thing since I lost my dad. Never seems quite so organized for me.
Also, thanks for the comment on my site, I answered it there too…

kaylee

THis is a touching post to me too.I have lost many relatives in the last few years.My view on life? Is just to live the best you can because you can be gone any day.Appreciate life while you can.Yes i look at my past everyday :)

Ken Xu

Past: Feedback for Present. Present:BluePrint for Future. That’s what my principle about life. :)
Losing relative is part of my feedback too. I lost my father 7 years ago. And I’m making it as my feedback to care my mother more.

Deborah

I think most of us who have experienced death by a close friend or family member have gone thru the very same thing, thinking of ‘if only’s’. I can tell you this by much personal experience :-)

It’s a wake-up call to live life the way you want it to be, and accept that the past is what it is and learn to stop beating yourself up over it. If only’s can’t change what’s happened.

It’s so easy to fall behind on calling a good friend or visiting someone with the busy lives we maintain these days.

pearl

hi RennyBA – if we could save time in a bottle…:) right – these very moments … im trying to stay in the moment and not worry about anything else! thanks for stopping by… and thanks for the mention… i’ll check it out soon

pearl

Kaylee… thats the best way to live – just enjoying these very moments… hope you are feeling better – will be thinking of you!

pearl

Ken, Tom and Deb…… I believe there isn’t a living soul who hasn’t experienced some sort of tragedy… we are all going through some of the same experiences, dealing with them in ways that feel right at the moment……

i have been trying to come to terms with this as is the entire family… and its never never easy…. but I want to develop a level of detachment where I don’t feel as broken and shattered when something like this happens… and as Deborah said, taking the time to say a hello is all thats needed sometimes !

thank you so much for commenting…

Sueblimely

Excellent article Pearl. The key to living happily as far as I am concerned. It took me so many years to learn this lesson and incorporate it totally into my life. It was not until a major life crisis that I was forced to study the lesson hard, believe in it and learn it to survive. I should have taken the time many years before. That word ‘should’ comes with no regret attached to it as it would have done before though. I used to spend far too much time on should have and should do. Today is now good and tomorrow will be good, whatever it brings. I now live life rather than constantly thinking about life.

pearl

thats exactly the attitude I am trying to adapt to Sue……… Just what was on my mind at the moment and it does work everytime I read it… although its a different story that I fall back into the trap of emotions from time to time!!