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To Tip or Not to Tip the Nutty Waiter?

This question has been on my mind for a few days.

HotPepper

I went to a restaurant the other day with a few of my colleagues from work.  It was lunch time and this restaurant offers buffet for lunch. We have gone to this place many times before but recently there seems to be a new management and new crew.

At buffets, as you know, everyone gets their own servings and we all did.  The waiter came and filled our glasses with water but then after his first appearance, the waiter couldn’t be seen anywhere the entire time.  At one point we ran out of water and the food being very spicy and hot, we really needed it, the only thing that was not on the buffet table otherwise we would have gotten the refills ourselves.  This particular restaurant is quite famous in my town and gets filled beyond capacity during lunch so I understand that the staff usually gets busy (with what? I’m not sure) and cannot attend every customer individually.

The hot and spicy food was getting to us and in the absence of water,  we decided we were not going to tip them. (blame it on dehydration).

We finished our meal somehow and after paying at the front desk, headed to our cars while talking about how once this place used to be a very nice but the service was going downhill lately.   All of a sudden we heard someone calling us from behind: “Miss… excuse me ma’am..”  All four of us turned around and found that one of the waiters was walking towards us, with a smirk on his face.   Not understanding what his problem was, we stood there waiting to hear what was his problem. The guy walked up to us and told us that we had forgotten to pay him the tip.

Huh?  We were stunned and furious at his audacity.  How could he follow us in the parking lot asking for money?   All he did was fill our glasses with water one time at the beginning.   We wondered what that smirk was for… did he really think we were going to feel embarrassed and end up paying the tips in the parking lot?   Not to mention how suspiciously stupid the scene would have looked to someone – each of us handing over some money to a strange guy!

This is the first time in my life I’ve come across such behavior. No waiter in the world should be chasing customers in the parking lots to demand tips! We of course refused politely and said we didn’t think a gratuity was warranted as no service was provided, the guy insisted a couple of times but we just walked away!  Phew!   What has the world come to?

As ridiculous as it sounds, we recently also started noticing that this place has started to include the tip in the check when it’s first given to you so if you do not notice it, and end up giving 15% to 20% on top of that, it’s your fault and they will gladly take the money, knowing fully well that you didn’t notice the tip had already been added.  Not to mention, some restaurants charge you tip on the take-outs too!

So, here are my questions:

Do you always pay tips even when they don’t provide any service?

I mostly do but this one time we collectively decided not to and the waiter came after us!

How would you have handled this?  If you are not from United States, I’d love to know the custom and expectations in your country.

photo: Digital Plus Art & Photo

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47 comments
banquet manager

I’m a banquet manager that insists my staff actually provide service to our guests. Unlike in a restaurant, there is always a “service charge” or tip placed on every check since the event is private with servers assigned just to them. In a restaurant everything is as is and based on the on-to-on meeting of guest and server. Maybe if more people stopped giving the mandatory tip, we would get better service.
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Anthony

I live in the US and was at one time a food server. My understanding is that the act of leaving a quarter as a tip sends the message that you didn’t forget, but the service didn’t warrant more than a quarter.

On a similar note to your zany waiter, I once worked at a restaurant where a server chased down a client and gave them their tips back because it was so horrible. Now, the sad part was that this was a professional server, and one of the best, but the people were just uneducated and didn’t know any better. Sadly, for the server, the customers returned to the restaurant and complained and the server was fired on the spot. He didn’t argue saying “if those are the kind of people you are catering to, I don’t want to work here.”

I am all for adding a 15% gratuity to checks just because there are too many uneducated people that don’t realize that 15% is a starting point and that is someone does outstanding service it is worth 20% or more. In this case, if the server performs below standards, there should be an indication to let the manager know at which time the tip would be removed. Obviously, if people abuse this, they should not be allowed to return to the restaurant or not be entitled to the tip removal.

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Joshua

Wow, I’ve never heard of that before. But you have to admit it worked. This guy put you in a position that made you feel uncomfortable, and essentially extorted money from you.

I used to wait tables, and it was hard work. So I am a little biased and always tip, because these servers don’t get paid much, and depend on their tips. However, my rule is start at 15%. If the server is bad I deduct 5% and really good I’ll add 5%.

IT Governance Blog

I put in a few years waiting tables and I can’t imagine ever doing that. That’s beyond nutty.

Here is how I approach tipping. I grade my service and I start with an expectation of A. If I have no problems I give 20%. If they exceed my already high expectations I grade out at A+ and give 25%. Each mistake or irritation drops a half grade, and it takes getting down to a B- or so before I’ll drop my tip to 15%. You have to be pretty bad to not get a tip from me. What I will do though instead of leaving nothing is I will leave a few cents. Trust me, the server will get the message. If you don’t leave anything they will just assume you forgot.

Adam(PixelHead)

At buffets, don’t the tips get shared with those that replenish the buffet? But I fully agree with you that the waiter should not have received squat…well maybe 50 cents…Lizzie had the same sort of service at an Applebees and left some change, but did not have the waiter chase her out of the restaurant.

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rummuser

If there is a service charge included in the bill, you are not obliged to tip unless the service was so pleasing that you want to reward the person who gave that service to you. If you get bad service, you are not obliged to tip no matter where in the world you are. If like you did, you have made your displeasure known by paying at the desk, the waiter follows you out and reminds you to pay him, you simple point him back inside and say, that you will otherwise be obliged to report the poor service experienced by you, to his superiors.

The problem is that restaurants normally hire people on a low wage dangling the carrot of high tip income on top. They however do not train the staff to provide the service to earn the tips.

kouji

i live in an asian country. over here, i usually check if the receipt already includes a service charge. sometimes though, if the waiter was particularly good at watching out for our needs, i leave a tip on top of the service charge (which is in effect a forced tip).

if the service was lousy, i don’t leave a tip. it wasn’t earned, so i don’t give it. the actions of your waiter were rather surprising. i don’t think that would ever happen here. perhaps it’s also a cultural thing, as we’re not usually that forward (especially in this case where really the guy had no right to ask for a tip).

Mjuboy

A hello from India here!

We generally dont have a service charge in the receipt, or atleast I havent come across any so far.

At buffets, we generally dont tip the waiter since he doesnt really do anything but at a la carte, we usually tip the waiter unless there is bad service. And even if dont tip a waiter, they dont ask us for one.

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HighGrace

Hello,
First, I found your site via the Killer Title Blog contest, so it works! Second, I stumbled you, too. Third, I could never been a waitperson, but my heart goes out to those who do. I’ve seen what they put up with, and when I can afford to, I am generous with my tipping–probably 15-20% depending on how they did. With that said, your waiter was just plain weird! On something, do you think? I’ve never heard of this before! G.

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Aurelius

In Australia, tipping is almost never done. Except when a customer is particularly pleased with the staff.
But our understanding is that tipping is more regular in places where service staff are not paid very well. But they usually are paid adequately here, so they do not work “for” tips, but instead tips are a bonus.